we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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