I would go down on you faster than GM stock
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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