New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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