she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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