What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
