Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
