At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
