i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
