I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Then you guys just all showered together...?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
