dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
