So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
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Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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