I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
