omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
