So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize