and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
