shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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