some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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