butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
