you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
