know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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