thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize