Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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