apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize