Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
