how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
