You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just googled if crying burns calories
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
