Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
