We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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