I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
