Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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