Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
