i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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