You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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