She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
