Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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