it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
