fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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