guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
