Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize