all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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