a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
