Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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