Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
