I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
