It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
