he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
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how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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