I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
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So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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