I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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