Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
