I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
