if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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