i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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