she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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