Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
