Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
