Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
