Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
