ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
